Oh, okcupid...
So, some guy messaged me on okcupid a few days ago and I thought, "Whatever, I'm bored and alone," so I messaged him back today and I was talking to him through okcupid IM. Hmmm. Well, I've decided I'll keep talking to him if he keeps initiating conversations (as mentioned, I am bored), but... eh. Not a good "talker" at least over IM - his responses were not super short, but there really wasn't much there. And he kept forgetting my answers to questions. I think the first thing I told him was that I was currently unemployed (I wanted to get that out of away in case it was a dealbreaker for him) and then the last think he asked me was what I did for for work? *sigh* We talked a lot about Columbia College because it turned out that he went there too and he works there... but it took him a while to realize I went there, and he asked me what I got my degree in three times. Yes, really.
He seems very bitter about having gone to Columbia. Now, I'm not exactly happy with how things turned out (I mean, I have no idea what to do with my degree if i don't go to LA to write, which, for now, is not what I want), and I can be... resentful, I guess... But it wasn't all bad. Living in Chicago rocked. The first year of school was super-fun. He just... didn't have one good thing to say. Not about the school. Not about his department. And he still works there. He's a tutor. So, yeah... it was amusing, but whatever.
I had always thought I would wait until I was employed to start dating again. I'm very big about going dutch and splitting the expenses, so not having an income... it just doesn't work. I guess I will have to stick to that after all.
What's strange is I was thinking about it and I cannot imagine being in a relationship again. It just boggles me, the whole idea of being a couple... how weird that I did that once. Even the idea of cuddling doesn't sound too appealing, and I LOVED to cuddle at one point. Weird. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I guess its just strange because I was always a relationship person. I've never really played the feild. i guess I always thought I wasn't really suave enough to. I mean, I'm quite overweight. I'm shy. I'm geeky. A dating person? How could I be one of those? But I want to be. I want to have, like, four casual boyfriends who go on dates with me, but don't want much. Its weird for me to admit that, because I always thought I longed for a deeper attachment, but... looking at the two longer relationships I've had... one was with a guys with major issues that couldn't commit because of those, and the other was a guy who I got very passionate with very quickly, but when I came up for air I discovered I barely liked him. One day I thought about this and wondered if maybe I was choosing guys who I couldn't possibly end up with because, deep down, I don't want to end up with them. Or anyone. I'm just not into a relationship, and I don't care.
But I would like to date. It sounds exciting.








